Don’t Take My Guns! Unless Someone says I’m Dangerous, of Course.

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July 20, 2017 by Black Bart

Oh, look! A shitty gun bill that’ll change nothing to go with that good drug bill that changes nothing. The paperwork is, as it always is, as legalese word salad but the gist is, if someone tells Big Brother that a particular gun-owner is suicidal, dangerous, or suicidally dangerous, then the gun-owner in question will be ordered by the court to hand all of their guns to the local police, without trial or even facing their accuser. Two amendments with one bill, eh? BUT, as some sort of atrophied olive branch, the gun-owner in question can dispute the order and submit to a court hearing, at which the gun-owner in question will doubtless be judged suicidally dangerous and their appeal will be denied. Goody fuckin’ gumdrops.

Now, I have a friend, sadly a liberal though I do what I can for him, who is a legal gun-owner. Got the permits and everything. Keeps it in a locked case where it does no good to anybody. All very above board. My friend also grapples with clinical depression. He was even medicated but after he learned that I wasn’t talking shit when I told him that antidepressants stop you from being depressed and instead make you desperate to put a railroad spike through your noggin, he stopped taking the medication and switched to weed. Luckily for him it’s legal for personal consumption ’round here. He’s doing better now, barring the despair brought to him by his 9-5 or other financial woes. I mention this because he has a mother who worries about him. Not to cast aspersions on her, she’s a perfectly pleasant person but she is, in fact, a mother that loves her son. If she grows worried enough, she may well avail herself of the option to snitch on him. As well, he has a girlfriend who floats in much the same boat as his mother.

This bill has passed on the floor and will be signed in by the governor. My friend’s mother and girlfriend could get the courts to take away his gun. I mean, ignoring the fact that a person’s death is their own damn business and, while efforts should be made to convince them that they’re needed on Earth, keeping a miserable being around for your own pleasure is selfish, but like in a gross, existential dread kind of way. If a person has truly resolved to depart this mortal coil, sick of the pain of it all or whatever their reason may be, they will find a way to accomplish it, gun or no and some of those alternative methods hurt like a motherfucker. At least a bullet’s quick. So, I don’t want to see any pretense that it’s for a person’s own protection, because it’s not. It’s to keep us toothless.

As for claiming a gun-owner is “dangerous”… Well shit, that’s pretty damn broad a term, ain’t it? I’m willing to bet anyone that happens to disagree with the powers that be are “dangerous”. I’m willing to bet that black folks are “dangerous”. If I’m a betting man, and you know I fuckin’ am, I’d put money on anyone with too dark a skin color or too non-Christian a religion being “dangerous”. And shit, look at that! I win the goddamn pot and it makes me sick as a rabid coyote (and that report’s mostly just what the police say happened as a grand majority had their bodycams off because of course they did and it’s doubtful as many victims were armed as they claim).

Now, there are ways around this bill for my local comrades and which alternate routes an individual might take isn’t my business.


I ain’t sayin’, I’m just sayin’. There are options.

Ultimately, this bill’s only gonna bend law-abiding citizens over the counter and not-a-one of ’em’s gonna notice! So numb are they, their back end like a tube of circus peanuts at this point. Nothing will actually change. Business as usual. Go back to your knitting.

Oh, and here’s the bill in pdf form for your perusal. Also this is all just my opinion and blah blah blah.

Keep on truckin’, kids.


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