Fear and Loathing in the Valley of the Sick or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Egoism

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July 14, 2017 by Black Bart

Ah, my inaugural story. How to begin? What topic ought be broached in my State of the Union of Egoists Address? As I sit, slurping up spicy chicken noodle soup scavenged from the local corner store, the dulcet tones of Brother Dege piping into my ears while the THC does its blessed job, a thought occurs. I ought to start with what exactly I’m doing here. In a general sense, I mean. Just what are my hopes, dreams, loves, hates, turn-ons, and influences? Who cares! I’ll just tell y’all the story of my rebirth, the moment I stopped being an Anarchist and became a CANarchist.

First, a bit of background. For as long as I can remember I’ve held a defiant spirit. It would manifest in small ways. An employer decides that I’m only worth minimum wage so I give minimum effort. A manager gives me that holier-than-thou attitude so I make a point of going against their demands. Things like that. I never held a single job for long. I’d read Hunter S Thompson and laugh at ungrateful customers. I’d go home at the end of the day, get a cheap burger, cheaper beer, smoke, do up some minor sigils with awful movies playing in the background, and pass out to see what dreams might hold until I awake to do it all again the next day.

That was the Black Bart that was and that was the Black Bart that would be. At least, until I happened upon a podcast. A podcast put on by Revolutionary Left Radio with a gator chompin’ hoodoo man from back down in Florida. That man was Dr. Bones and I wasn’t the only soul set afire by that interview. Every worthwhile Facebook page run by heathens and anarchists was praising this thing from the very hilltops. I was content with passively stickin’ it to the man, but now? Now, I want to fight! For I have dipped my hands in muddied waters and, removing them, find it to be far better to be a commander than a common man! I, alone, am the master of my fate.  Dr. Bones made me realize that. He sat me right down and laid it all out, clear as day. For that, no thanks can be made for none could be sufficient.

And so, here I am. Hoovering up every tidbit of magical and political philosophy with the sole intention of using it to, as I say, master my fate. Who knows? Maybe you’ll be hearing about the return of the wild to the west.

Black Bart

Until then, just keep on truckin’.


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